Thursday, November 30, 2006 9:39 PM

feeling so sad ... or rather disappointed ...

♥sad ar ... just feeling sad ... damn ... i guess its herr lor ... wth ...i dun noe wat to say ... just that i'm down in mood

Come to think of it ... it's going to three yers since i entered a relationship ... sad ar ... nvm bout that ... just that i feel that she is so god damn in sensitive lor ... duh ... i'm human lor ... got feelings de ... not ur dog can ... ask me come i come ... wan me go i go ... nither am i a life saving float can ... reach shore jiu throw away ... then in sea start looking for it ... its not fair u noe .. i took it that u din do it for purpose ... but it seems that i'm being portrayed as a dumb ass and fool arnd muii frens lor .. wth ... dun break muii heart any longer can ??

i wonder having fallen for u was wrong ?? or even worst ... go and know u this person ... i'm sadded by ur actions can ... everyime its like i'm disapointed ... i dun noe why i dun feel sad .. maybe cuz muii heart is no longer whole .. thats why ... i dun noe how to tell u how i feel about u ... thats yy ... whenever u wan to turn to me ... i'll make sure i'm available i swear ... but then ... pls be there when i need u occasionally can ?? its been one sided love that i know ... dun tell me ... but seeing u happy ... no matter with whom .. even if not wit me ... i'll smile ... i'll be glad ... all i wan is to see u happy .. but pls ...be mindful that i have feelings ...

i dun noe wat else can i say ... i love you ... thats all i know ... and i dun ask much ... just that let me be there when u need someone ... and be sensitive to muii feelings thats all ... love you ...

wat else can i say ??

Sunday, November 26, 2006 10:06 PM

Back from camp

♥wee ... i'm finally back from camp liao ... tirig sia ... but then ... ITS DAMN DAMN DAMN GOOD AND FUN !!!!!!!! lolx ... better then last year de ... though i am helping there out ... but then .... holy sia ... good one ...

Friday morning early early jiu reach JWSS ... then put down barang barang jiu chiong to tampines to meet muii capt who lives arnd there ... then go rekky at tampines nature park ... but then ... stupid lor ... it rain !!!! so heavy nia ... got caught in the rain sia ... damn damn damn sway ... wat to do ?? we all got drenched lor ... then afternoon we go back .. but some of us go home first lor ... like me ... went bak to take the combat boots and long pants ..(army boots) cuz sport shoe wet ... the place got muddy place ... so te boots come into good use ... (good thing i bought it last year ??) then went back and see the juniors have lessons on leadership and play games to see potetial leaders and train them to have correct leadership qualities ... then jiu break for supper ?? then we JVS helpers all go out eat supper ... capt drive van and bring us out to eat ... lolx ... then jiu chiong back school for briefing to oter officers abt the war game on saturday ... of course we helpers know more ... cuz we rekky out the plce le ma .. also memorise the whole plan sia ... lolx ... after which we went to bathe ... and thats the worst ... bathing cubile NO DOOR !!! wat the hell ?? but i lucky la ... i bathe first ... so never got see through ... but the second fella onwards ... not so lucky la ... no need elaborate ... then jiu prep for next morning ... cuz that saturday morning onwards jiu dmn xiong for us helpers ... jiu sleep le ...

saturday suppose to sleep till 9 ?? but god damn it ... the participants are so noisy that they woke us up ... hell lor ... i only slept for a pathetic 5 hours ?? siao sia ... jiu go down lor ... since alredy up we jiu do logistics check for the later war game segment in the afternoon ... after which we go ava room ... then after a while ... we went off to change ... and get ready ... cuz the start of the whole game is to scar them first ... lolx ... and i the actor as runner ... passing msg ... lolx ... then after we got our cue "in conclusion", we went out and took 3 loud hailers and blast off the siren ... they all got a scare nia ... but no one cry la ... boy lor ... cry jiu abit wat la ... then he jiu start briefing ... and also keep geting scolded and punish ... thats the most xiong segment in the whole camp ... then jiu see them pack things ... then jiu go lunch ... the the AP ( advance party) which is me and 2 other helpers we went to tampines nature park ... to get everything done ... after loading everything from the van ... it starts to rain ... OMG ... thats it sia ... then we put on poncho ... went out from the van (we're taking shelter in the van) and get the participants into a safe shelter ... good thing i wore combat boots ... m feet was practically dry ...so was muii buddy ... he also wore combat boots ... hehe ... we lao qian sia ... so we all shiok sia ... haha ... then jiu alot of things happen la ...all i can say is it was damn shiok ... alot of funny things appen lor ... i will write tomorrow ba ... i tired lor ... i onl reah home at 9 pm sia ... so tired ... and i gotta send hp for checkup thanks to one helper ... who hit muii hand and muii phone flew ... and slide on the floor ... hitting the walls as it slide ... batt and cover flew out ... damn nia ... so angry ... stop le ba ... tired ...

wat more can i say ?? except i love you

Friday, November 17, 2006 11:01 PM

i'm feeling sad ...

♥why ... why i'm feeling so sad ?? God noes nia ... wat to do ?? i also dun noe wat to do sia ... just continue be moody nia ... wat to do ?? now not using my latop ... some more i not at home ... at muii offficer de house ... lolx... laptop maybe coming home tomorrow or sunday ... shiok nia ...

sometimes ... i suddenly start to ponder about life ... hmm ... at to do ?? now i also damn worry for muii dad ... his health is getting worst ... i hopoe he is okie nia ... the family depend on him ... hais ... i pray hard he'll be okie lor ... sad nia ... though sometime his temper and attitude abir wat ... but hor ... he still a nice and good dad ... everytime i kena scolded by him ... usually is veri badly de ... cuz he dun always scold me for nothing ... i dun hate him or wat ... just go sleep ... then later jiu okie le ... afterall her muii dad ma ... hais ... sometimes ... it worry me ... i just dun wan say onli ... hais ...

hais ... dun wan say le ... i veri sad

wat more can i say ?? except i love you ...

Thursday, November 09, 2006 9:36 AM

♥damn nia ... later afternoon geog paper 2 .. so later go study b4 i go for exams ... lolx ... stupid nia ... the boy in love kao bei so muchh for wat ... he hum ji then dun bother to go confess his feelings la ... dun dare let her noe ... u ku ku ... throw men's face ...

thats all ... just scolded that guy ... kinda of warn him that he better dun come from JVS... he better know who he playing wit ... lolx ...i'm a nice man ... but then ... pne may never know ... tired nia ... during this o's exams period .. i'm feeling super duper tired ... mainly cuz the day is spent on exams ... then jiu directly go study ... then sleep ... next day exams ... its like that for almost a week ... so i think cannot take it ba ... then yesterday was feeling sick all of a sudden ... diao... goood thing now feel better ... cuz later 2 got exams ...

hmm ... dun noe why leh ...it seems that i'm not a confident person ... but the sad thing is ... gals avoid guys when the real confession starts ... sian diao lor ... then how i go confess ?? shit nia ... dun noe leh ... also cannot confirm the gal wont de ... god damn it ... how ar ? shit nia ... sian sian sian ... maybe after o's then say ... it's finishing soon ... yeah !!! should not do too badly ... lolx ...

funny sia ... my bill is not coming ... should be long due le lor ... i check when last month due ... then should be due le ... almost one weel liao leh ... sian diao ... i still dream that mui bill is $100 plus ... siao men ... never hit that record before ... only like $60 plus ... lolx ... if hit jiu never mind ... i told muii mum i going work liao ... so everything i pay muiiself ... she does not need to worry ... sounds like i'm a good boy ... no la ... she pay so much of muii bill liao ... so if can unload abit of her burden jiu try lor ... its only a fraction of wat i'm earning ... lolx ... siao rite ??

gotta to do end of year reflection soon ... i mean next mth ... something i try to make it a habit to do before i enter in to a beand new year ... lolx ... steady sia ... but okie la ... that will make me more aware of muiiself ... then see wat can i change to be better ...lolx .... gee cant wait to go back for parade nia ... i miss all the guys ...wan to have fun wit them ... lolx ... just hanging on there ... lolx ...

i guess i gotta go and take muii breakfast ... then go study liao ... yupp ... i wan score A for geog okie ... so later must write alot nia ... i mean facts and not rubbish and crapps ... some ppl have the tendacy to be crappy without knowing ... lolx ... till here ...

Tuesday, November 07, 2006 12:03 PM

sian

♥today was okie la ... the paper not bad ... hais ... dun noe why leh ... i dun feel good deep inside me ... lolx ... also feel kinda of sad ... never mind ... dun wan to bother to know ... lolx ...

hmm ... o's ending soon ... men ... so far the papers are'nt as difficult as i tot ... lolx ... kept worrying myself ...but never mind ... its okie ...hais ... hmm ... why am i haising when i'm not beri sad ?? hmm ... then how ... maybe i'm sad ... but i dun noe why ... lolx.. dun care liao la... make myself so wat for wat ?? hmm .. the sentence like funny ... lolx ...

sian leh ... dun noe wat to type liao ... just go slack a while ... lata got to study ... lolx ... fei fei signing off ...

Thursday, November 02, 2006 5:44 PM

i had moved on

♥i had moved on ...

and she has become part of memories ... and that i had moved on ...
somehow ... its time for me to let go ... that it just went away so quickly ...
i wish her all da best in life ... and i;ll no longer talk about her ...

well guess that all ... cuz i think i should move on and experience new stuff ... shan't hang on to the old ... wats the point ...
and i'm having muii o's now ... in 2 more weeks it will be over ... so gotta hang on ... hais ...
i also dun noe wat to write ... just that upon this entry ... all the past is gone ... she's no longer impt to me ... we shall go seperate ways ....

i had moved on ... and i had graduated ... hais ....