Thursday, June 19, 2008 4:36 AM

3 More Days, To my own seclusion.

♥Bad new came one after another. What more can i say. I thought i can maintain a clean record of not failing any test, yet i flunk my Bio Pract. What to do, its already a Fact.

Today, went for cell, and was share alot. Then incident hit me. Maybe, i did really overreacted for that incident.You know what. I'm sorry. But i'll say, its your choice,I'll standby it. Thats all, I hope you understand what i meant. From this incident, i really see how much do i stand in your life. I really saw. Though I'm disappointed definitely, But its a fact. Just to let you know, I've all along taken you as a younger sister of mines, thats why i've always been protective of you and objected so strongly on that incident.I'm sorry that I reacted the way i did. I therefore apologised.

I'm going to aust in Sept, I intend to go japan next year august if possible, if not after graduation, the free time before i enlist for NS. I want to see the world a little. I've currently in mind, to wan to work in Aust and Japan. We'll see how. But Australia, I'll definitely apply for a PR status after i graduate from poly. As for Japan, We will leave it to the future. But I'm positive that 5 years from now, I wont be in Singapore, Chances of it. 90%. And Probably I'll not be back that soon too.I've decided that if i go there to study, Upon Graduation, I'll stay there and work. I wont be coming back for a while. I'm still talking with my dad, He's okay with me going to aust to study after i complete diploma.

I've thought over, if I ever am going overseas and not coming back for a while, would I tell my friends, I actually say NO, I wont tell them. It would probably be a painful Goodbye. Yes it Definitely will be. Lolx. But, lets just leave it till it comes. Before i know it. I'll be posting post that I'm in australia working already.

I'm still losing the innocenece of my sanity. Definitely, Setback after Setbacks just came along. That sometimes i really do question myself alot. But again, Certain things, I should learn to let go and not hang on to it. What is mines, will be mines, no matter how i hold and grabb on to it, It will still slipp away. Like its never been yours.

Man, Time flies so fast. Thats probably the price to pay when you mature, and grow up. Yes, ever since i take note of time, becoming time concious, I found that time passes just that fast. NOt like in the past, where time passes so slow that i dreaded it. But now that my life is moving on such fast pace, that i cant slow down to catch my breathe. Its life. Lets just face it.

Alright, I'll stop here. Its a Good 5 Am already. Its time for my sleep, Till here i'll take my leave.


I've made my choice, I'll bear the consequence. Once I leave, I wont turn back. I wont Regret, because I made the Choice. Its my Life, One and Only.

Sunday, June 15, 2008 2:58 AM

I wondered, What has happened.

♥There is so much so much tat has happened in these 1 week that i din post, So much that suddenly, i found myself turning emo for the 1st time in 2008. First time i called Someone to talk, first time that someone saw that UNGLAM side of me. And that someone is none other then my dear fren, SARAH. Thanks dude, Really appreciate that.

This week, Somebody passed away, a child of my sis pen pal in New Jersy, USA. That child got hit by a drunk driver and died. DAMN that drunk driver, May My curse be with him all eternity. And Obviously, i got shocked. We were like family Friends to each other, we communicate through the net with our webcams and stuffs. My God. It's just so unfair.

Loads of work that acutally stress me up that i found myself losing my sanity as the day passed. The sanity that saved me and last me till now, is fading all away that i could barely stop it. But i find that ppl are stimulating the lost of my own sanity that they fail to understand and see that the KELVIN that they thought of all along was actually fading away slowly and disappearing as the days passed. I reflected alot on Friday, during the class BBQ. The class BBQ turns out nice afterall, even though the planning part was like havoc. Talked alot to one of my classmates, then night time comes, I got emo, Seriously i did. And i was not thinking properly at all. I reached home i got online and to find myself getting into another conflict over trivial matters. All i can say for that incident is, if thats what you say everytime, then prepare to lose all those around you soon. Because al you ever felt was ppl giving excuses, lousy excuses, defending themselves.

And then, the final straw that drove me down the spiral, is a student that i trained sometime in apr, he came to talk to me online. And he really affected my mood super Big Time, I dun blame him, but it just that when you're down, you're not in the mood to do any advice giving. But I still did, then he told me that he took a few tablets of panadol and stuffs, its like, OMG, no, and everything just kicks in, he went offline, and i just went all the way down, down down down, that i did something i in a correct mind would not.

I went to talk to someone whom i'm no longer on good terms with, my junior. And i just messed up everything. I guess, its a really no play btw us already. Forget it, why do i even care, FUCK IT. Then i called Sarah, i talk to her rather long, then afer that it seems that i'm slightly okay, i also would not wan to hold up too long, cuz she is at her fren's house, its not appropriate. But sarah, i'm losing my sanity as the days passed. I'm sorry, I know that to you, I'm one of the most sensible person that you know, but, even sensible ppl got a down side of them. I've lived my life the way i wanted, I've done my best in all the things i want to do, But i'm losing sanity as issues after issues keep rolling at me. I though i've got a good year for 2008, Someone destroyed it for me, sad news came along, ppl i'm counselling just revert back to their old ways, studies are so fucking stress, the school thinks that we are robot. INSANITY. The innocence of my sanity is gone.

I said in a few post backed, that i need to recollect my feelings and thoughts this hols, I guess i seriously need to. I decided, I'll be on MIA 4 weeks from 23 June to 23 July. Sorry, but i think, i need to get back the innoncence of my sanity, My future, my dreams depends all on it, The moment it is gone, everything goes with it, my life, my freams, my future my goals. But should i fail to, I'm sorry, especially to sarah, whom i've gotta to disappoint, if i lose my sanity, thats the last thing you would want to see of me. To be truthful, I'm crying out of a lonely world. I've been watching Jap Dramas by Hirokita Maki, her Dramas so far are all meaningful, that i've some how managed to cope with all my probs so far, I reconmmend NOBUTA WO PRODUCE. The lead actor, a fren to all in school, actually leads a lonely life, And to say and embarassed to say, I found my life damn simaliar like his.

When ppl lose something then they will treasure. To my junior, Maybe when you lose me, you wld treasure by then? The innocence of my sanity... once gone, Forever we'll say Good Bye to ME.

I wish...

Monday, June 09, 2008 12:33 AM

Let the videos do the talking

♥Alright, I went down for taekwando traning just now, here are the videos we have. Happy figuring which video am i in, lolx because you cant. Probably those who know me will be able, but its very lousy quality. But what can u expect when its 3.2 mpx only ? Not like mines 5mpx. Those super clear are by N95, so change to N95 if you wan nice video. =)


















Thats all Folks.

Friday, June 06, 2008 12:21 AM

Why.

♥Its all over. Yes, everything is over. Test are over, so does my worries. and so is that issue. ALL IS OVER. Sam asked me this qn, wld i still care for her even after all these, like in the sense in the inside but not showing out, i said, obvious, that one no need to ask. Come on man, look around you and ask ur stupid self, how much ppl care for you sia. And u take tings for granted. how sad can it be, before you realise, probably me and sam may nt be there for you any longer.

I Dun Exemplify Attrocious Living. It meant, IDEAL. and it meant, your kind of living, do not deserved to be exemplified. Let me type my post in the loo, lolx ...

I din typed in the loo, and guess what, i saved the post and waited till 24 hrs later to continue. I think at this pt. I should do a full refelction of my life since the start of 2008. A half year reflection of my life, my goals, my asipirations, my problems.

I step into the year 2008 with a brand new hope dreams revitalised to see that i will have a fruitful yr ahead. I state down all my goals that i want to achieve from the start of 2008 till all the things i want to achieve in life. So i do think its a good habit, to take a little time off and pause, too look things through. My Goals. I've got Big Goals and Big Dreams.

My target was to score 3.5 every Sem with the start of a new sem in 2008 APR. Looking at how things are, I wont be able to reach my 3.5, But if things carry on as they are, i'm still in the 3pt range. I also wanted to lose weight, but haha, so far its on the negative route. Lolx. Studies more or less are quite okay, just that certain time, the laziness feeling just comes and you will skip classes a bit. This time, I din skip alot like i used to, i attended majority of the classes, and i only skipped when I'm not feeling well and i want to go home or i got a few test the following day. So, I dun think thats too bad.

I came into the yr 2008 hoping that i wont have any major problems that will alter my mood and emotions too drastically. But sadly, Somebody just did it and causes me to be in a bad mood for very long time and now, I'm feeling so dead out emoish thanks to that fella. We'll come to that later, so lets just leave it. Relationship wise, So far so good, All seems to be doing fine, Singlehood cant seems to be better then anything it is as now. Friends all are good except for something that happen today. That is my fren, but the one who ans the call, I'm sorry, but bitch. Again,I'll come to that.

All in all, Year 2008 seems to be a great year so far, Every year will be a better year once we learnt all the mistakes in the previous years. So current conclusion. I'm happy with my life so far. Everything is great. I cant ask more then anything like now. Lets just hope it stays on like this or become better. That would be great.

This year major problem came thanks to someone. I look on it,I dun know what to say now. Deep down, the tingling sensation fo care and concern is there, The emotion of hurt is there too. I admit, I was trying to be strong by not showing it out, But it all does exist inside. All inside. But somehow, I've got a a feeling that my good intentions are not well appreciated. Maybe I am inconsiderated and unreasinable that people who dun take my advices means my intentions are not appreciated, But this issues is way too a tricky issue that i feel that i cant let you have full control over it. But agian, it boils down to you, Your choice. Its your life, I have no control over it, Its the decision that you make, That affects the rest of the plans that you have, not mines.

I believe in saving a fren b4 they fall into the trap rather then rescuing them after they had fallen into the trap. I dun noe which is best. But my argument with another fren brought about this conclusion, To save my fren from falling into a trap,I've gotta force my opinions and decisions onto them and they gotta take it and its not fair. Well, a talk about human rights. So fine, Since it is said that a good fren is one who will standby and help their fren up after they fall, I jolly well standby that principle then. If things can change, People can change too.

And i simply dislike paranoid bitches. If you're feeling insercure, Why not look at what is giving you that insercurity, Generally, its you yourself. One thing, You've got terible manners when you pick up some one else phone, and you got a stinky mouth when you start scolding the person on the opposite line whose intended audience was not even you, bitch. And to think you can talk high and mighty. Come on, Zip it loser. I DUN EXEMPLIFY ATTROCIOUS LIVINGS. and the attrocious livings that i'm refering to, is you, bitch. Some people just do not know where they stand, probably they need to fall off the cliff, then they know where they stand. There are way too many losers out there. I simply cant believe it.

And thanks to that fren of mines, you know what, you destroy a good 2 weeks for me. If i dun care, I wont wana say, But now that i dun say, does not mean i dun care. I'll just let you do all the things you wan. Because at the end, I'll just get disappointed, man, i cant believe it, and to think i have such high hopes for you. And oh ya. You hurt me, You really did. Just to let you know.

Well, In conclusion, I'm having a life that cant be better but definitely i want it to be awesome. So, Lets just hope things will go down smoothly through the next half of the year. And from here, I take my leave.


Even if the world falls
I'll stand tall.

Monday, June 02, 2008 12:06 AM

I wasted 2 days. Lolx.

♥Man, Laziness crept in. And i wasted my week ends sleeping and playing. I dun have the mood to study, thanks to some moron. And tomorrow i only got 3 classes spread over 8 hrs. After first lesson for the day at 9. I got break from 10 to 2, then classes till 3, then break till 4 then classes again. How crappy can my timetable get ?

I slept alot sia, i woke up at 2 pm today, i slept at 6pm just now, woke up at 8 plus, man, how much did i sleep my life away ? Gosh, that so OMG luhh. Later go study, play abit, tomorrow i decided to go school at 11. Because i skipping the 9 am lecture. Lolx. Its week 8 already, last week of school !!! then holidays !!! woohooo.BUT SCREW U, i got attachment 4 weeks after my hols of 2 weeks. T_T

When life gets hard on you, start pondering, how to make it soft. Lolx. The Chronicles of Narnia Prince Caspian was a very nice movie, definitely worth watching in the cinemas, and i am intending to, cuz i watched it online, and i think its good, so i going to the cinemas to watch it. Lolx. The theme song for the movie The Call by Regina Sepktor, was very nice, meaningful too, I decided, I'll leave that song to that moron who destroy my week and make things become so uphill for me. Thats the last thing I'm leaving for her before i'll return to school on week 15. Even after that, I also need to prep for semestral exams, and again, attachment. There is hell Load of attachment.

OKAY, end here, Time to study. Lolx.
Qualities of a Leader,
Heart of a Servent.
Even if the world comes to an end. I'll still stand tall.



Here is the song and the lyrics,
It started out as a feeling
Which then grew into a hope
Which then turned into a quiet thought
Which then turned into a quiet word

And then that word grew louder and louder
'Til it was a battle cry
I'll come back
When you call me
No need to say goodbye

Just because everything's changing
Doesn't mean it's never been this way before
All you can do is try to know who your friends are
As you head off to the war

Pick a star on the dark horizon
And follow the light
You'll come back when it's over
No need to say goodbye

You'll come back when it's over
No need to say goodbye

Now we're back to the beginning
It's just a feeling and no one knows yet
But just because they can't feel it too
Doesn't mean that you have to forget

Let your memories grow stronger and stronger
'Til they're before your eyes
You'll come back
When they call you
No need to say goodbye

You'll come back
When they call you
No need to say goodbye

Thanks to Kristy for these lyrics