Wednesday, May 16, 2007 4:12 PM

I realli dun wan things to Go this way .......

♥Hais ... feeling sad now ... realli ... dun noe yy leh ... just that not in mood ... tomorrow meeting someone for movies .. after then jiu sian sian liao .. i really hope things wont go this way .. if it does ... men ... i dun noe wat else i can say ...

As i said ... maybe the episode had already come to a closure ... ya ... i guess so ... its time to end everything ... all the things shall come to an end ... did i regret over my actions ?? Prolly i did ... i dun noe ... i just am that lost of words now ... time just flies by ... half the year is going to be gone ... aint that fast ?? i guess its because that i am aware of little things around me ... did i notice that time just flies ... men ... i wish life can go back to the slow pace mode ... prolly back in sec sch days ... where time passes slowly ...

I miss the tymes i had ... i seriously still do ... although its like going to be a year that i had left school ... but i realli miss it ... i hope i can go back and study all over again ... but i cant ... a place i had came to love for 4 years ... i cant go back to it anylonger ... not as a student anymore ... a place where i found all my joy, my sorrows, my love and my disappointment ...


i guess i just wana stop here already ... its meaningless to continue on anymore ....





Everything shall comes to an end ... Goodbye ..........

*CLOSED*

Tuesday, May 15, 2007 3:43 AM

Things Just aint Going my Way ... hmm ...

♥Bored .. now having break, then later going for lectures... last week, i dropped the ring ... ya .. lost it ... i guess it meant that its an official closure to the episode already ?? Maybe it has ... but i dun noe .. and i dun wan to noe ... this episode had made me so fud up ... i just wan to leave it there ... it aint progressing .. nor is it deproving ... so just let it be ...

Well ... school ending on 3 more weeks and i'll be having a short holiday... well ... going to have a test also ... hais .. it aint fun having poly life ... haha ... and was so pissed off wit one tut group mate ... because of her .. got everyone is such messed up wit projects .. one person doing affecting the whole class .. thats so wat ... dun wan talk abt it ... makes my blood boil ...

Well ... i guess ... once u treat someone real nice ... their appetite gets real big ?? hmm .. firstly was requested for an ipod, then suggest psp ... hmm .. i really wonder if i should get anot ... mind you .. i never even buy for myself alright ?? and here i am considering to buy it for some other people ... hais ... but i guess i am treating her way to good already .. hmm ... rumours had arise already .. i dun wana care ... and let things be as it is ... its so tiring ... let things come the way then ...

well .. i guess i will stop here .. its tiring .. i din sleep well the night b4 ... wana rest ...


She's too imature ... and i guess ... she cant think at my level ... our age are too far apart ... maybe ... some incident that had happen ... is signifying a closure to the episode ... prolly it is ..............

Friday, May 11, 2007 3:38 PM

Aint much happening now ...

♥its been a while since i update .. nothing much to say any way ... test are near ... lifen not much happening too ... everything still so dead ... thats all ... well aint feeling right to update ... so aint gona update ...

just a little muffled ... abit muddled ... somehow lost ... in life ... in love ... aint got any idea what is going on ... its time to learn obtaining than attaining

Tuesday, May 08, 2007 1:31 AM

It came late ... but its still worth posting it ...

♥Well ... Friday went out to Had a fun time partying the whole night ... but in the middle ... something unexpected happen ... well nevertheless ... lets go by the flow .. had really a fun time back on friday ... I guessed i saved someone's life...

Well basically after school i went home ... then did up some of my stuffs and rest ... supposedly should rest for a while ... but in the end .. slept too much .. when i woke up .. i got i was like ... PANICK ... called up bro .. he also just woke up ... so in the end we took our time ... i went out to get my taekwondo stuffs settled ... gotta submit in my documents for my Black Belt... ya so after that i went home ... changed ... and rushed out to meet HOW ... then off we went .. journey aint that good ... shant go into there ... so reached SKY and had a rather fun time ... i took 3 cups of martell and i'm like ... okay .. starting to get tipsy ... so lets stopped .. i did ... rested ... then the a call came ... my sis ...

First she called me .. .telling me some sutffs .. i wont put it here ... i will put the link of her blog to mines ... then go there read it .. then check out mines again .. its a continuation from her part ... So basically that problem came ... and my sis decided to pass to me .. cuz she say i got alot of lobang ... so i guess i got the number ... i called .. MIND YOU IT WAS NOT A PRANK ... that lady on that phone really wante to commint suicide .. (the lady was a total stranger .. happen to keyed my sis number out of desperation ... and its by luck she did it ...) so i check out the whole situation ... it turns out like this ...

Case
Cheated of Feelings by the boyfriend. Dumped her .. said she can never find a BF again for she is too old ... ( Mind you she is only in her Mid 20's) Next,cheated her out of her savings worth $5000 plus ... lastly .. left her a pile of debts of $5000 plus to pay ... so what makes us think that she will gona be alright ??
So i basically calmed her down ... tell her to talk to me .. and tell me anything she wants .. she was crying badly then ... so after which its my turn to talk ... i stirred her feelings ... changed it to where i wan her to feel that she is not losing out .. she can over come it ... so after a period of talking .. [at the expense of my hp bill] she managed to get that suicide thought out of her mind ...

For now she is getting on wit her life ... she is working hard .. taking on other jobs beside her full time one .. to pay off her debts .. she wanted to some volunteer work too .. helping her to find it ... and she is getting on strong .. thats the story ... so basically i did my best .. and managed to save her life ...

so after that ... i was clear awake ... when i took the call earlier i was like tipsy ... so after i went back in ... after a while ... we left ... then went to orchard ... oh .. aislin also there ... then met ang jie and his fren... went to watch 4.15 am last show of spider man 3 for midnight ... then after that ... left ... took a merce cab home .. slept till like pig ... then woke up ... saturday ... nothing much happened ...

then yesterday went to one of my relatived wedding ... then ate quite abit ... drank 3 cups of red wine without getting tipsy ... getting better at it ... haha ... well thats for sunday ... then now in school .. rushed and reached on time ... lecturer sick ... so now break ... going for tutorial soon ... than will break again ... update on todays happening later ... till here ...


I'm forgotten .. by many whom i loved .. whom i once share my joy, sorrow and happiness ... i'm totally forgotten ...

Saturday, May 05, 2007 2:30 AM

Untitled

♥In school now .. having break ... quite tired now ... although i had slept for quite alot since yesterday ... well dun noe ... now i look back ... i wonder if i had really chosen the wrong course of my choice ...

I do seriously love nursing ... but the processaint making me enjoying it ... i dun like the process at a;ll ... can be quite tiring ... oh God ... am i tired ... its only the 3rd week ... and its like ... ~ DEAD How will i cope within the next three years ?? i really have no idea ... heard that one fren wanted to change course out of nursing ... hais ... and we have the highest drop out rates of students .. will this happen to me ??

the stress levels can be quite high ... although was pre warned abt it b4 hand ... but i never expect it to be that high ... it totally came as a bomb ... maybe i should just change my mindset of the way i am thinking now ... let me do it bah ... the power of state ... should do it ... maybe it will benefit me more ... and should try cutting down on drinking ... it may be causing me to feel weak ?? but i dun over drink ... thats the thing ... arh ... life is so contradicting ...

good thing school dun end too late ... ando there is like only 3 more hours of lessons ... 2 pract lab practise and 1 more tutorial b4 i am release at 4 ... cant wait till it ... and reach home gotta rest ... if not later still need go chin how sis de birthday celebration at SKY .. if i not wrong ... well ... need go buy present also ... if not like very rude ... i wonder what i can get for her sis ... Men i hope i wont gibb up at a time like this ... lets hope ... some encouragement ... some pushing force will appear ... its just not so easy to learn how to become a nurse ... and its even more difficult to be a nurse ... hais ... sadded ...

There aint any reasons for m to smile ... but can i find one ?? Life's in a mess now ...

Friday, May 04, 2007 5:03 PM

Meaningless..

♥Lately ... Found life rather meaningless... am i withdrawing out from the norm of social integration ?? where emile durkheim theory that ppl commit suicide more easily when they are out of the norm of social integration ?? come on men ... am i at that stage already ??

Recent few postings had been rather emo .. dull ... sad ... i mean thats what i got and felt from the life now ... its no meaning ... i cant find a meaning to everything that i am doing ... i cant find a single damn reason to smile ... Life just aint i want ... and its aint going to the way i wan ... watched the video ... crossroads, the story of a nurse ... if the title is correct ... being a nurse is not easy ... gotta face trouble and problematic patients ... rude and proud ass doctors who tink that having the word doctor of that bloody chee bye cert from MEDICAL SCHOOL ... they win ... thats so unfair ...

Doctor cures , Nurses care ... thats our profession... i came into nursing telling myself to train well and become a professional nurse ... but it seems that the process is making me feeling so tired .. drain out ... i had no pushing force behind me ... God i wish i can drop dead ... i wonder if i can hold out till then ... just too many heart breaking events had happen within a short time frame ... prolly that i cant feel it ... cuz the heart was never there to begin with ...

If i can redirect the movie which is my life ... would i do it into a better one ?? or remain the same ?? there are things in life ... which i hope i can change off if given the chance to relived my life again ... men am i feeling so sad when back then i dun treasure the fun times i got in sec school ?? confused ... muffled ... muddled ... lost ... just out there some where ... maybe wandering in the lalang field ?? just losst ... confused ... muffled ... and muddled out some where in this world that is once so familiar ... but foreign and alien to me now ...




I aint smiling anymore ... the day i stops ... is the day i evilise ... life just so had no meaning to it ... May i Dropped Dead

5:20 AM

Schoolin aint fun at all ... prolly its me that its not fun ??

♥well ... third week of school coming to an end already. And i still find that school is rather boring ... that it is no life at all ... bored nia ... so blog in school lor ... since i had nth better to do ...

come to think of it ... human are always like this ... when they look back into the past then they will reminice abt the past .. how good the past was ... thats so saddening ... i'm feeling confused lately ... a little muffled ... muddled abt life .. well ... dun noe why ... i am feeling lost out some where in my life ... how ?? when will i see the hope of light ?? that glimpse of light ... sad nia ...

dun wan type le ... later then say ... The day i stopp smiling is the day i turn evil I PROLLY CANT FIND ANY REASONS TO SMILE ANYMORE

Wednesday, May 02, 2007 3:04 PM

Life aint got anything for me to smile at any longer

♥Life aint got anything for me to smile at anymore ... really, i tink about it , there aint anything in life which i can smile about ... thats so saddening ...

went to bugis just now wit LL ... then we went to eat at a restaurant ... not really a posh one .. just normal ... ate quite alot ... haha.. i had fish and chips .. (its damn plain mind you .. ) then LL had some pasta or wat ever ... then ordered side dish of baked potato wit cheese (choice of ham and beacon .. mind u ... that am and beacon is salty like siao) its like so extreme sia ... main course is plain .. side dish is so salty ... ai ya ... the portion they gave qutie big ... i cant finish it seriously ... first time nia ... then was talking to LL ... abt the past ... the past still allows me to smile just that little bah .. but life totally sucks to the bottom now ... i miss the goodie oldie days ...

the price for growing up, responsibilities, the price to pay for freedom, independence, the price of moving on, to lose what u got ... thats what i learn ... i learnt to treasure what i got now even more ... i learn to look back on the past just to comfort myself ... one day i might forget you, you might forget me ... memories fail us ... men .. aint that sick?? prolly record down then wont forget ?? prolly ... men ... prolly i am emo ... but ... things that are good will always comes to an end i suppose ?? thats just the law of nature bah ...



Life aint got anything for me to smile at ... not you ... not her ... not anyone ... nothing at all ... The day i stop smiling is the day i turn evil ... prolly i am not smiling anymore ...
Life sucks to the bottom ..

Tuesday, May 01, 2007 5:12 PM

Prolly that we forgot each other existance ...

♥men ... come to think of it ... i had forgotten that my besties of frens in sec school ... that they existed ... well ... at least they are truthful enuff to tell me that at some points of tyme .. they forgotted that i existed at all ...

things still have to come to this stage i guess ... no matter how good we are ... it seems that when we seperate .. on to our own paths ... everything back then were so foreign ... those promises we made ... those time we had ... it seems so far ... and it seems that it never had started to begin with ... i sort of expected tat we will lose contact ... at times may have to even recall to tink who is that person ...when we splited into our own ways after o's ... life so sucks .. the choices thrown to us in life ... are not choices ...cuz we practically cant choose at all ... this aint wat i wan ... this aint the type of life i wan ... its shit life

i got the meaning when was told that we have to moved on ... i guess ... its time to say goodbye to the close realationship we once had ?? its time to say goodbye to the bond that we used to have ?? prolly .. at least .. my frens aint that worst ... they got some in the poly where they were close in sec sch .. they still meet up for lunch ... me ?? nth ... just shit ... maybe for brother ... otherwise ... i'm practically alone in school ... i dun really commuinicate very well wit my new frens ... not in the sense of commui problems ... but more of after school hours ... we were in our own wrold ... am damn sure life is not what i want it to be now ...

prolly i miss those old days back then ... but we gotta moved on ... men ... i guess ... its time to say goodbye to everything ?? To the friends that we once had ... to the bonds we once shared ... to the momories that we once remembered ... everything will fade off ... so will i ... life aint wat one expects it to be... thats so true ...

The day i STOP SMILING ... is the day i TURN EVIL ... i cant find a good enough reason to smile anymore ...