Friday, May 21, 2010 10:57 PM

A life path that I'm walking

♥Its been a few weeks since I last posted. Work has been very busy. Stress since now I really got to take care of my patients, literally on my own. Overtime again and again. I've lost 2 kilos in like 2 weeks ? That is simply so amazing.

3 days ago, was my graduation. Mixed feelings to the max. One, I'm already grown up, I'm leaving my student life, I'm leaving most of my friends that I've made over the 3 years. I'm leaving the NYP that I'll never have a chance to go back to again then others. I'm solely responsible for my own actions, accountability to my patients, and the responsibilities, is something that you can never imagine as a student.

Overtime when your patient desperately needs your presence, everyday I go to work, I do my best to be jubilant, I do my best to face my patients with a smile, their concerned family, I do my best to assure them that their loved ones are in good hands. So much that it actually made me rather tired. Shift that are all over the place, that results in you having to work in the following shift 10 hours later from the end of the current shift, that you have to be alert for 12 hours while you are at work, that you cant even eat and rest a proper 1 hour, because you are worried about your patient or that something happened that requires your presence.

I love nursing. I really do, but to find that energy, is something of a whole new level. I probably understand why my preceptor says after a few years, your enthusiasm will die down, and you will feel burnt. Because to maintain that substantial amount of positive, cheerful and jubilant energy, you will need a substantial amount of topping up to keep it well balance, just like I/O char, negative balance not good, too positive balance also not good. Negative, you will turn out to be grumpy, you have an issue with anything and anyone, whatever people do is an eyesore to you, that you die also must scream it out. Too positive, you lack awareness of your surrounding that people may not be able to accept that vibrant burst of energy of yours.

Nursing, A job that challenge, your patience, your love, your mental capacity, your physical endurance, your emotional management. All the elements that what made us being human, that people are able to work around with. Will I end up like burnt like the other nurses ? I do not wan, I want to be full of energy, but it's like so tiring everyday i end work that I just wana get home to do the things that I just wana do or sleep.

Man, Life changes so fast just like how the years can just fly by. I'll be enlisting to army in 53 more days. I intend to get permission and clear SIM requirement to start studying for my degree come following year January. How will things really end up ? I don't know. Lets walk and see.

This is my graduation song. I simply love it.
Winds beneath my Wings.