Friday, December 29, 2006 2:07 PM

the damn net was down yesterday .... tsk tsk

♥yesterday wan update blog de ... tmd ...at 12 plus am .. i realise that internet explorer could not access any webby ... so use mozilla fire fox ... then also cannot... so confirm is the net siao lor ... wa kao ... how can ... thanks to the earthquake in the taiwan ... wa kao ... sian diao sia ...

sian sia ... i'm so bored... come on ... the school better start soon ... then i can go back help .. other wise i'm so bored ... sian dao cannot sian ... wa kao ... lolx... wa the heck ... muii cousin using muii comp just now ... then never see ppl send me de msg .. i replied .. the person gibb me attitude ... wa lan ... na bei sia ... nt that i din give a reason okie ... wa the heck ... damn wu di pissed off sia ... wa kao ... where gt such rubbish ... na bei ... but nvm ... i dun wana be pissed off for these type of things ...

muii cousin came in the afternoon and bugg me the whole afternoon .. and now having headache ... jia lat ... also i played too much CS ... kao ... wat the heck ... entering to the new year in one more day ... so fast ... 2006 just past when i realised that 2006 had only just started ... ironic ya ?? entering into a brand new year of 2007 ... lets hope that things will get better...

now i just wana say what i wana say .. i dun care how it is ... but i'm just gona say sorry ...


i dun blame her for not accepting me ... cuz this type of things cannot be forced ... i remembered her telling me that being at her age .. gt alot of relationships problem that she cant solve .. be it family, frens or BGR .. so i never wanted to say anything more ... beside expressing muii feelings for her ... but after that ... i dun noe yy .. i no longer noe how to talk to her dude ... i seriously dun noe why ... i wonder ... wat wld happen shld we face each other in school when i go back just to administer in CCA ... wat wld we react ?? i dun noe ... i seriously have no idea... blame me for thinking to much .. but i just cant help but to think ... i told muii kor ... i dun blame her or wat .. i dun wana rush into anything ... i wana work things out a little wit her ... but it seems that i cant ... i dun wan anything ... for now .. i just wana be allowed to be by her side .. to give her the care ... concern and love that she needed ... its okay for her not to do the same for me ... cuz i never in the first place wanted her too ... at the end of the day .. i dun hope to be wit her ... but i hope that she will realise how much she meant to me .. tats all ... is that too much ??

some times ... i find ... the more i noe her ... the more stranger she is to me ... haas ... maybe i'm siao ... maybe i tink too much ... but how /? how am i not to think ?? i just dun noe what else can i do now ... just that being there for her .. or not there for her ... depends on when shee need me ... i totally no longer knew how shld i go abt saying things to her .. sometimes ... or rather ... alot of times ... i am wearing a mask of happiness ... a mask that is so fake ... that the real cant be shown at all ... that the real me is in a tormented and sadded ... heart broken poistion ... but i still have to carry the mask of happiness ...

Just let me be there to love and care for you can ?? just let me be there ... dun push me away ... allow me to just be there ... to guide u from behind ... to just be the one trying to protect you ... thats all i need ... maybe i'm foolish ... but i cant help but to be ... blame me ... but i just cant stop muiiself from loving you morre ...

Thursday, December 28, 2006 12:43 AM

damn the net ... all becuz if taiwans' earth quake

♥Bloody cuckoo ... the net is having so much problems ... thanks to the 7.2 magnitude de earthquake in taiwan ... TMD ... then damaged the net cables .. then muii hse de net crash totally in the morning ... btw .. the timing shown on muii blog entry is nt accurate ... forgot how to set it rite le ... now its 12.45 am ... lolx ...

then so pissed off today ... acc muii fren go polyclinic. .. then guess wat ... we waited for 2 hrs ... then i asked him ... gt register ?? he go ask .. then found out that he din reigister at all .. wtf ?? then wasted two hours there lor ... damn ... if not ... i can go settle the CS software stuff ... and probably saw muii fren online ... who is coming to singapore tomorrow from hong kong ... and i had no F-king idea what time is the flight .. which terminal ... flight number ... wth ?? but i gave her muii hp number ... shld she need call any one in singapore ... she can still find me ... bloody cuckoo ... waited 2 hrs plus when everything can be done in half an hour ... siao peh ... GEYJIO !

this sunday de countdown party must wear retro sia ... i dun noe how to wear retro lor ... wa lau eh ... siao peh la ... i 16 years old only ... now must dress till retro ... wth ?? GDI!!! (god damn it) sian diao ... wat to do ?? its only 3 days away ... sian sia ... she still in malaysia ... Genting some more ... at this weather .. tell me veri cold ... dude ... i'm here in singapore at jurong at 11th floor ... i'm already feeling cold and having block nose ... let alone say u ... dun noe how many hundred metres above sea level ... and some more malaysia had been raining so heavily for the past few days to almost a week liao ... duh ... no cold ... i go commit suicide ar ... wth ... lolx ... then just now only tell me she enjoying herself ... got a lot of candy floss ... =.= wth ?? eat so much candy floss ?? never eat b4 ar ?? lolx .. nvm ... she enjoy can liao ... afterall ... her sch is starting soon ... so let her be ... lolx ...

diao ... then siao peh ... muii cousin saw her pic ... wa kao ... sorry ar .. muii cousin wan see ... so in the end i showed her ... i din receive veri de good comments ... wa kao ... gibb face la ... lolx ... but i say its okie ... i like can liao ... lolx ... muii cousin say she nt chio =.= ?? wth ??wtf ?? nvm ... to me can liao .. ppl can say i eyes got shit or watever ... but i can see the beauty in her ... so all of u ... dun kao bei wit me !!! lolx ... as long as i like .... can see the beauty of the gal i like ... all comments are not accepted into muii brains ... i mean .. i welcome comments and critisism of her duh ... but i dun let it affect me on how i look at her ... cuz i listen ... i observe ... if its true ... her actions and the way she talk will show ya ?? so dun ever jump into conclusion shld anyone tell u abt this person de waggy little details ... always go obeserve and judge if the bloody comment or critisism is true ... i cant blame muii cousin for looking at her tis way ... cuz muii cousin .. (female cousin) ... was a part time model ?? i was told by her bro .. .then the bro ask me dun feel too wat... cuz he say her sis standard veri high ... wakao ... then muii that cousin de bro ... say actually... nt bad la ... thats more like it sia ... in front of me say she not chio ... wth ?? WTF ?? ZHAO SI AR ?? lolx ...

i'm sorry abt it ... shld u ever chance upon this entry ... really ... shld not even tell muii cousins at all ... duh .. wth ... sorry ... can be angry ... pissed off wit me for all u wan ... cuz its muii fault if u wana blame me .. duh ... sorry ...

haas .. i got one mei ... ask me ... what do i like abt her ... duh ... hmm ... i dun noe ?? no la .. i noe ... lolx ... cuz muii mei dun like her ... reason is so simple ... so stupid ... so lame ... so GEYJIO ... that i ask her go and die ... REASON : 'I DUN LIKE HER FACE ... ESPECIALLY THE WAY SHE SEE PPL ... GIBB PPL A FEELING THAT SHE VERI DAO ... ' WAKAO ! NA BEI SIA ...where got ?? i saw her also dun have ... so i replied ... ' DUN JUDGE A PERSON BY ITS FACE ... BLOODY CUCKOO ... GO AND KNOW HER AND UR BLOODY (F-KING) IMPRESSION OF HER WILL CHANGE ... GOD DAMN IT ... ' muii mei was like ... [ =.= duh ?? so big de reaction??] wa kao ... of course la ... wa lau .. if i go say her stead .. she will take chopper chase me ... wa kao ... lolx ... btw .. i talk to muii meis not veri ke qi de ... no la ... all play play de... no bad feelings ... cuz if i dun add someting like u bloody cuckoo ... they find me boring ... duh ... thats what i had been told ... cuz they told me... sometimes i talk wit some dirty languages ... it actually add more "flavour" into the conver ... and make ppl laugh... cuz ... i noe when shld i use it ... duh ?? come on dude ... lolx ... u noe who am i ?? lolx ..no la ... i dun scold for nothing .. though is a not a good habit ... lolx ... usually .. i will like .. " you toot .. toot .toot ... toot " u noe ... censor it ... lolx ... u bloody tooting too ... lolx ... lame sia ... but then ... not nice to use all those not so zhen dang de language ma ... lolx ...

Sian diao ... so fast sia ... her birthday coming ... wat shld i get /? no idea ... if dun noe jiu dun get lor ... if no money jiu dun get lor ... wa kao ... like i so bloody cheap skate sia ... lolx ... really ma ... if u dun noe wat to get ... then buy what ?? shit ?? come on la ... free of charge de lor ... that one everyone have ... hmm ... better go crack muii brains hard and think ... if cannot ... jiu G_G ... LOLX ... i just wish that she's alright there ... thats all ... she happy = i happy ... simple ... wa kao ... i so siao ?? lolx ...

i fall for u that instant ... but i noe ... the differences between us ... is gona put us apart ... i noe it ... thats yy ... i never wanted to tell you .. but still i told u ... i'm trying muii best ... gibb me time will you ?? cuz i noe ... i wont be able to work anything out wit you now ... ppl say ... let u noe me more ... probably the situation will change ... but i dun tink so .. blame me for being stupid for loving you ... i really cant see the future of us holding hands ... walking on the beach ... wit our toes in the sand ... and seeing the sun set ... i'm sorry ... forgive me ...

i'm just a pahtetic idiotic dumb fool ... who fallen for some one whom he shld nt had ... i'm sorry ...

Tuesday, December 26, 2006 1:26 AM

every one is so sad ...

♥Everyone around me now is so damn sad .. all having so much problems ... especially those who meant dearly to me .. just what is the world becoming to ?? i wana noe ... but it seems that i wont know ...

i dun noe why ... i suddenly felt that hopes were renewed ... hopes that one day ... we will be together as one ... hopes that u will be by muii side ... haas .. but its not going to come tru afterall ?? yy dun u just gibb me a big blow ... a hurting one ... probably ... i'll forget you straight ... i'm sorry for loving you ... i know its foolish of me to had settle muii eyes on you ... but i cant help it ... i dun noe why ... u attracted me at that instant ... i dun noe ... i really dun noe what shld i do ?? i cant forget you ... nither can i be closer to you ... i'm in a terrible state now ... just what had happen to me ?? i dun noe how long can i hold on ... ppl arnd me are getting sad ... making everything worst ... and i just cant leave them to be ... they meant so much to me ... and muii own problems ... i just dun noe ... do i stand a chance ?? could u kindly tell me ?? do i ?? just where the heck is wrong wit me ?? haas ... maybe .. its time to slim down is not it ??

i muiiself is in a lost situation ... but i cant allow muiself to be ... or rather ... i lie to muiiself that i am not ... cuz if i do admit that i am ... i wont be able to help those arnd me now ... i cant ... i cant fall at this instant ... but the shoulders are getting heavy ... its going to break ... it need a rest soon ... but it seems that ... rest is so far away ... and i wonder ... can i hold on till then ... muii heart is crying ... its bleeding ... from those tots of you ... muii heart is crying so hard ... because it loved you so much ... its bleeding ... cuz it cant let you go ... wat shld i do .. i really dun noe ... i wonder ... was it even a wrong choice to get to know you that fateful day ?? probably it is ... if i had left without anything tying me down ... i wont be in such a terrible situation now ... but i guess ... i got tied down now ... because of you ... i'm not blaming you ... is just that ... hais ... i dun noe how i shld go about it ...

alot of times .. seeing you in a a situation where u cant handle ... i really wan to stand in to help ... seeing u down on mood ... confused ... makes me even wana care for you more ... and thats how ... u stole muii heart ... i wont asked it to be returned ... cuz it can never be returned ... but now ... i'm like a pathetic fool ... hoping for the impossible ... just wat shld i do ?? can we work things out a little ?? cuz i noe i wont hold out for long ... though i am forcing muiiself to ... even if its force ... it wont be long .. jjust let me able to be feel loved .. thats all .. i guess .. tats something i noe i had forgotten ... the feelings of being loved ... while loving someone ... you meant so much to me .. i'm sorry for all those troubles that i had brought ... i'm sorry ... forgive me ...

wat more can i say now ?? i no longer know ... i lost it all ... lost it all badly ... a phatetic idiotic fool ... that is so torn and shattered .. that he cant even recognise himself ...


You're not alone
together we stand
i'll be by your side
you know i'll take your hand
when it gets cold
and it feels like the end
theres no place to go
you know I wont give in
no I wont give in.

Keep holding on
'cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through
just stay strong
cause you know i'm here for you, i'm here for you
theres nothing you can say, nothing you can do
theres no other way when it comes to the truth
so keep holding on
cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through.

So far away I wish you were here
before it's too late this could all disapear
before the doors close, this comes to an end
but with you by my side I will fight and defend i'll fight and defend yeah yeah.
Keep holding on
'cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through
just stay strong

cause you know i'm here for you,
i'm here for youtheres nothing you can say,
nothing you can dotheres no other way when it comes to the truth
so keep holding on
cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through.

Hear me when I say,
when I sayI believe nothings gonna change, nothings gonna change destiny
what ever is ment to be
will work out perfectly yeah yeah yeah yeah
lalalalalalala...

Keep holding on
'cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through
just stay strong
cause you know i'm here for you, i'm here for you
theres nothing you can say, nothing you can do
theres no other way when it comes to the truth
so keep holding on
cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through.

Keep holding on
'cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through
just stay strong
cause you know i'm here for you, i'm here for you
theres nothing you can say, nothing you can do
theres no other way when it comes to the truth
so keep holding on
cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through.

-Avril Lavigne [keep holding on]

Saturday, December 23, 2006 12:16 AM

just what is it ??

♥All the things she said
All the things she said
Running through my head
Running through my head
Running through my head
(Running through my head)

All the things she said
All the things she said
Running through my head
Running through my head
(Running through my head)
This is not enough

I'm in serious shit, I feel totally lost
If I'm asking for help it's only because
Being with you has opened my eyes
Could I ever believe such a perfect surprise?

I keep asking myself, wondering how
I keep closing my eyes but I can't block you out
Wanna fly to a place where it's just you and me
Nobody else so we can be free
Nobody else so we can be free

All the things she said
All the things she said
Running through my head
Running through my head
Running through my head
(Running through my head)
All the things she said
All the things she said
Running through my head
Running through my head
All the things she said
All the things she said
(All the things she said)
This is not enough
Ya Soshla S Uma - Ma!
This is not enough
All the things she said
All the things she said

And I'm all mixed up, feeling cornered and rushed
They say it's my fault but I want her so much
Wanna fly her away where the sun and rain
Come in over my face, wash away all the shame
When they stop and stare - don't worry me
'Cause I'm feeling for her what she's feeling for me
I can try to pretend, I can try to forget
But it's driving me mad, going out of my head

All the things she said
All the things she said
Running through my head
Running through my head
Running through my head
All the things she said
All the things she said
Running through my head
Running through my head
All the things she said
All the things she said
This is not enough
This is not enough
All the things she said
All the things she said
All the things she said
All the things she said
All the things she said
All the things she said
All the things she said
All the things she said, she said
All the things she said
All the things she said

Mother looking at me
Tell me what do you see?
Yes, I've lost my mind

Daddy looking at me
Will I ever be free?
Have I crossed the line?

All the things she said
All the things she said
Running through my head
Running through my head
Running through my head
All the things she said
All the things she said
Running through my head
Running through my head
All the things she said
All the things she said
This is not enough
This is not enough
All the things she said
All the things she said
All the things she said
All the things she said
All the things she said
All the things she said.

this song is by [t.a.t.u] veri nice ... its got what i wana sae and thinking of ...

my oh my ... i just notice that i had not update muii blog for a while ... sian ... i'm sad duh ... oh ya ... i already told the gal that i like her ... but now ... i'm putting for away ... i'm trying muii best to forget and let go ... cuz things aren't going to work out for us ... i noe it .. thats yy i din even try to ask for a relationship to start ... just be frens ... thats all ... life is cruel ... i'm trying to be strong ... i noe i am ... cuz if i dun ... i noe that i will be sad ... i will be depressed ...so i dun allowed muiiself to ... i dun allow muiiself to fall even deeper ... cuz i noe how hurt will i be ... i tried to be hard on her ... being crude ... becuz i dun wan her to pity me ... i dun noe where i am heading now ... is everything an illusion ?? a facade ?? just what is revolving arnd me ?? i dun wan to be sad over her ... cuz i noe if i do ... i will just get worst ... the feeling of being hurt by someone u like ... i had enuff ... i dun wan any more of it ...

just yy is life like this ?? maybe i shld not even like anyone duh ?? yy is it that the gal i like ... never ever like me duh ?? it seems that they treat me only as super good buddies ... or sisters ... wth ... just what is wrong wit me ?? probably ... i'm not the type gals are looking out for ya ?? haha .. damn ... just count me sway dude ... i just wana run away frm this horrible place ... i just wana go know the new me that i had changed to ... and be back when i had finally known who am i ... and be ready to face all the heart aches ... becuz .. i'm so torn and shattered ... i need lovees ... but i dun get any ... i'm so shack up men ... maybe i shld go off .. get rest ... and be back to face all those things once again ... just who had i change to overall these years ... i wana know ... am i putting up a fake image now ?? or is it the real me ?? am i trying to bluff muii way through that i am okie ... when i am not ... i dun noe wat to do ... where am i heading too ??

As i turn muii back away from u ... i'll be letting u go ...

Thursday, December 07, 2006 3:22 AM

I'm home !!! at 3am ... -.-

♥phew... finally home ... but wont de long entry... need to sleep soon ... muii fren do ic wan me accompany him go ... siao .. see first .. too tired jiu dun care le ... tired u know ... was back only at 3am was because go fren chalet.. haha... and we went to a hunted house ... called a red house... but nth happen ... cuz i prayed...lolx ...

well fun time .. got alot of second hand smoke ... cuz all muii frens smoke ... -.-
so in the end was coughing badly ... not because i weak ... but becuase i was already coughing badly ... add on the smoke ... cannot breathe sia ... tired liao ... wan go sleep le ... ywans ...

As I turn Muii back Away from You...I'll Put You into Muii MEMORIES....

Sunday, December 03, 2006 8:03 PM

♥veri tired sia ... never sleep well and alot ... was having a sore throat ... then keep wanting to cough ... sian leh ... next week is jammed pack ?? tomorrow free ... tuesday and wednesday going fren chalet .. not staying ... then thursday may accompany my the ophir guys to beach road to buy the thngs that was needed ... then fridayand saturday is xiong ... gotta go down to headquaters or ST log ... i dun wan go st log .. cuz cannot bring camera phone in ... tmd ... i'm using a 2 mega pixles de phone some more ... wa lau ... cannot la ... then the in charge better ... tell me dun bring hp lor ... wat the ?? duh ... come on ... dun bring u need call who to check on the Boys ?? dude ... lolx ... i just dun wan go st log ... damn ... its so damn strict there lor ...

heh ... dun wan type anymore ... very tired ... wan do something wihout spending too much energy... lolx ... as i turn muii back away from u... u shall enter into muii memories ... when i open muii eyes again ...God smiled at me...

1:20 AM

♥i tot so muchh over these days... i knew life was not going to be the same after i let you go ... but i tot ... maybe i shld let you go ... i tot ... its time for me to do something even more ... and that maybe letting go of you to achieve even greater heights ... i may receive better rewards ... i close my eyes ... turn muii back away from you ... i open muii eyes again ... God smiled at me ...

i dun noe if i can ... but i'll try no matter wat ... once i succeed .. i'll tell u tat i once like you ... but all are nothing but just going to be part of mui memories .. i just dun noe how to open up to you ... just say that i'm a person sucks at expressing muiiself when it comes to love .. cuz it seems tat u have some one in mind ... i think i should step one side ... so that i wont be a hinderance to you .. and that u can be with someone you tuely like ... my source of joy and contentment is through seeing u happy and smile ... but do not fear and worry tat u will not have anyone to turn to .. cuz i'm still here for you .. amybe by then not as anything muchh... but more of a friend .. i hope muii decision to step aside wld be wise ...

i hope tht life is gona be better for you ... and that everything will go smoothly ... as i close muii eyes and turn muii back away from you ... i'll shall be putting u into muii memories ...