Thursday, September 07, 2006 3:42 PM

Eternity .....

♥To me a second with you is eternity to me ... thats so nice ... well finally came posting ... but i guess it will be quite a while b4 i post again ... i'm gona be off the com for a while ... muii o's are damn near ...

life's kinda of okie ... but then ... it seems that everything is passing by so quick ... another year is flying by ... and of course ... ppl arnd me are changing and leaving ... some times ... i wonder what is eternity to me ... does it mean forever ? to me ... memory is eternity ... u will remember for life ... memories happy or sad ... are just parts of ur life ... its like a CD ... playing back whenever u think of it ... cuz it once happen in ur life and it is recorded in ur brain . (how amazing is our brain !) come to think of it ... loads of things had happen during these few years of growing up ...

And fianlly ... it's time to move on again ... well ... life is kinda of cruel ... just when u had settle in comfortably into a nice environment that u like ... u gotta move on again ... i just like the life on secondary days ... but now ... i'm counting down to departure from it ... probably i will find muii next phase of life much interesting ... but i noe that these four years of sec school days are gona be deep rooted into muii memories ... eternity... its a place of life .. where i had found my joy .. love ... friends ... and sorrow ... its a place of happenings ... that i know that i wont forget ... and definitely going to missed ... how i wish that time can go slowly upon this entry.

but sadly the case is not ... 24 hours thats a standard for a day ... it flies ... just study ... rest ... sleep ... another day is gone ... and that some times it passed so fast that i did not even realised that it is near the end of year again ... but now i noe ... for i feel the sense of urgency ... i wana do well in my upcoming major exams ... i wana do well and say that muii four years in secondary school is not wasted. How sad am i ... that i am counting down to departure ... i thank God for the ppl who have entered my life and help me along and supported me to this period of time ... though i noe i'm going to leave some of them ... but i guess ... we will always keep contact ? And harsh reality of life stes me thinking ... Can i wish that i wont grow up and continue to be a little child ... and be naive and not mature ... thats seems so nice ... like a little baby .. care free .. only need to bother about sleep and eat ... hmm ... but everyone have to grow up at some point of time ...

i'm studying my chemistry now ... i am hopin to score 4 A's ... so now is to make the last min preparation to ensure that i get it ... i believe that i will ... most importantly i must believe ... because i believe then will i be able to work for it ... its saddening me ... that whenever i think back of wat she said ... she wanted to transfer school ... and go into a better school . come to think of it ... some times ppl important to you just have to leave you ... she's important to me ... but i wont keep her if she wans to move on ... just like me ... i'm moving on ... let me wish her sucess in her transfer ... though it is so contradicting ... that i wan her to stay so that when i come back i can find her ... yet wishing her sucess for her transfer ... sometimes ... life just tends to play you out just like this ...

Time is running out fast for me ... i gotta grabb it and make the last effort to prove my worth ... and i'm going to prove it ... no matter wat .... was thinking ... should i leave for a better place ... cuz it seems that muii parents a supportive of me migrating to another country after my NS ... but i'm just wondering should i ? Probably one day i will ... but i guess not so soon ? i still wana stay here ... where all the people that i love is still here ... whom i cant bear to leave ... but then one may never know ... life is just so unpredictable ... hmm ... probably this is the last entry b4 the O's are over by NOV 20th ? i guess so ... its not easy to predict ... or else i can earm money through predicting stuff ... lolx ...

I know ... i missed her ... but there is nothing i could do to tell her ... but just write down everything here ... hoping that one day she will understand ... its kinda of silly isn't it ? Holding on to a dream thats never going to come true .... i'm immune to heart ache ... Euu hurtz some one who lubb euu so deeply .. you tore his hartx .... yet he cant bring himself to hate you ....

All along it has been one sided love isn't it ?