Friday, December 29, 2006 2:07 PM

the damn net was down yesterday .... tsk tsk

♥yesterday wan update blog de ... tmd ...at 12 plus am .. i realise that internet explorer could not access any webby ... so use mozilla fire fox ... then also cannot... so confirm is the net siao lor ... wa kao ... how can ... thanks to the earthquake in the taiwan ... wa kao ... sian diao sia ...

sian sia ... i'm so bored... come on ... the school better start soon ... then i can go back help .. other wise i'm so bored ... sian dao cannot sian ... wa kao ... lolx... wa the heck ... muii cousin using muii comp just now ... then never see ppl send me de msg .. i replied .. the person gibb me attitude ... wa lan ... na bei sia ... nt that i din give a reason okie ... wa the heck ... damn wu di pissed off sia ... wa kao ... where gt such rubbish ... na bei ... but nvm ... i dun wana be pissed off for these type of things ...

muii cousin came in the afternoon and bugg me the whole afternoon .. and now having headache ... jia lat ... also i played too much CS ... kao ... wat the heck ... entering to the new year in one more day ... so fast ... 2006 just past when i realised that 2006 had only just started ... ironic ya ?? entering into a brand new year of 2007 ... lets hope that things will get better...

now i just wana say what i wana say .. i dun care how it is ... but i'm just gona say sorry ...


i dun blame her for not accepting me ... cuz this type of things cannot be forced ... i remembered her telling me that being at her age .. gt alot of relationships problem that she cant solve .. be it family, frens or BGR .. so i never wanted to say anything more ... beside expressing muii feelings for her ... but after that ... i dun noe yy .. i no longer noe how to talk to her dude ... i seriously dun noe why ... i wonder ... wat wld happen shld we face each other in school when i go back just to administer in CCA ... wat wld we react ?? i dun noe ... i seriously have no idea... blame me for thinking to much .. but i just cant help but to think ... i told muii kor ... i dun blame her or wat .. i dun wana rush into anything ... i wana work things out a little wit her ... but it seems that i cant ... i dun wan anything ... for now .. i just wana be allowed to be by her side .. to give her the care ... concern and love that she needed ... its okay for her not to do the same for me ... cuz i never in the first place wanted her too ... at the end of the day .. i dun hope to be wit her ... but i hope that she will realise how much she meant to me .. tats all ... is that too much ??

some times ... i find ... the more i noe her ... the more stranger she is to me ... haas ... maybe i'm siao ... maybe i tink too much ... but how /? how am i not to think ?? i just dun noe what else can i do now ... just that being there for her .. or not there for her ... depends on when shee need me ... i totally no longer knew how shld i go abt saying things to her .. sometimes ... or rather ... alot of times ... i am wearing a mask of happiness ... a mask that is so fake ... that the real cant be shown at all ... that the real me is in a tormented and sadded ... heart broken poistion ... but i still have to carry the mask of happiness ...

Just let me be there to love and care for you can ?? just let me be there ... dun push me away ... allow me to just be there ... to guide u from behind ... to just be the one trying to protect you ... thats all i need ... maybe i'm foolish ... but i cant help but to be ... blame me ... but i just cant stop muiiself from loving you morre ...