Thursday, March 08, 2007 4:50 PM

♥Some times i really wonder, why did i go out so much for a fren, why must i sacrifise more then others, and yet when end up with some complains by a fren u called, u always got the most pin pointing and judgement from ppl.. so much for being a fren ... i just wonder ... is everything going wrong now ?? its seems that it is ... evolution ?? no idea ... i just feel so damn hurt .. and pissed off ... i wana let it all out .. so i can feel better ... i jus came home from work since 7 am in the morning ... now its already abt one .. tomorrow arnd 7 plus need work again ... but i took half day off ... good thing got some one willing to subbed me for it .. thanks fella ...

And that fella who helped me is what i call a fren, he who does not mind helping others .... and not complaining ... some one that i only known for 2 months ... is willing to go out so much for me ... while some one i known for almost my whole life gave me such a terrible time ... i wana let out now ... i'm sorry .. but this gona get nasty .. but if i keep in any longer ... i tink i will go beserk ...

KAN NI NA ... u tink i am wat ?? i go out so much for a fren i trusted so much .. and all u ever do is to " suan" (calculate) everything wit me ... out 10 times , when u only do 2 things for me while i did 8 things for you ... you would bragg as if everything was the opposite ... FUCK YOU ... CHAO CHEE BYE ... when u're lazy and dun wana do things and wan me do ... i must ... and u can be lazy and pushed it to me ... when at times i am tired and wana u to help ... U KAO BEI ME... LAN JIAO OKAY ... wat type of FUCKING reason is it ??? U NA BEI better gibb me a good explanation abt it ... dun wana say anylonger ... some times ... its just that life is like that is not it ?? life is not what one expects it to be ... this is a powerful phrase i rmb from my o level lit novel ...

pay came ... but veri little .. abt 1/3 of it i havent submit ... but i can tapped on my savings first ... its alright .... some times things just get so FUCKED UP ... oh ya ... i got into nanyang poly nursing ... yup .. i did it ... acheive my dreams ... weee ... at least that something worth to be happy and elated about ... wana share my happiness wit her so much .. sms and ask her if she got her hp back .. no reply at all ... feel sad definitely ... what to do ... forget it la ... i'm losing the race already ... i knew it ... i just wana cry so much ... but i cant find a single tears ... some times loving a person is so hard ... that it seems hating the person seem so much more easier... tell me ... what else must i do .. i really dun noe .. i wana find my tears and cry my heart out ... but it seems that it is not coming anymore ...

i never expect that i would have went so far in feelings for her .. but its a little too late to regret now ... its almost 5 mths le ... and i am stupidly waiting ... just why ... i wanted eeu ... i wanted eeu to be by my side ... i wanted to be able to hold your hands and tell the world one day ... that u are mines an i am yours ... trust me ... there is never an eternity ... but there are always memories ... i may be gone from your life anytime ... i wont know ...ever since i start working ... it makes me realise how much life is ... i wana spend my time wit you .. frens and families ... cuz i wont noe when some one deicides that i am about to leave ...

even if i do leave ... i believe i would have leave loving you ... i never ever regretted that day ... that fateful 27 oct 2006 ... where i got to noe you and had fallen for you ... i wont regret ... its part of my beautiful memories where i can look back and smile on ... to me ... memories are what we should call ... ETERNITY...

i love you ... i shall take my leave ...