Thursday, April 19, 2007 3:43 PM

it makes me realise how much i really love you and how much you meant to me.. cuz i teared for you ...

♥i felt so uneasy the whole day... went out to school without my ring for the first time ... then arrived in school early even though i set off later then usual ... something was bound to happen ... since everything went wrong today ... i felt so energectic when i din rest well for the past 2 days ... and something terrible happen ... and it hit me ... i might have lost her today in the morning ...

i really feel like crying while typing this post ... i shld be sleeping now ... for tomorow my class starts at 9 and end at 5 ... and i need wake up early ... cuz school is far had to travel for long time ... it occurs to me ... today may be the day ... where i will be kicking myself and cursing myself ... for not doing something ... cuz a damn accident nearly happen to her ... i dun noe in details what happen ... but i just knew ... she was lucky to have escape it ... i hope she will tell me what happen ... just assure me that she is fine ... cuz i'm veri stress by my school work ... and now ... i'm so tired .. but i cant sleep ... cuz my mind is just thinking if she is alright ... if she is okay ... i'm so unsettled ... my eyes popped out when i read the post ... i nearly faint ... i was gasping for air .. i was saying ... " oh my god ... wat the f**k ??" i'm just repeating that all over agian .. .that my mum asked me wat happen ...

gal ... i knew the seriousness of it ... i had cheated death once too ... i know it too ... i'm sorry ... i'm sorry ... i just want to know what happen ... sorry for asking ... but i do really wana know ... i regretted not going to school today ... i regretted not going back when asked to ... cuz i wana have time for myself ... cuz of my selfishness ... i din even know that something happen ... and funny thing is that ... she said the whole school knew ... yet no one came to tell me ... u got me into a frenzy ...

now that this had happen ... then i notice ... how much i was actually dependent on her ... though we had not been commuinicating much recently ... but now i know ... how much she really really meant to me and how much i really really care ... cuz i always appears not to ... i always put up that ego ... to ignore her when i see her ... i regretted ... i know how much i love her ... cuz i am tearing soon ... cuz my eyes are wetting already ... bucause i'm just so afraid ... she may be just gone like that ... i'm scared ... I SERIOUSLY AM !!!

i tink i need to rest too ...before i can take another shock ... i hope it wont affect my mood for lectures tomorrow ... i really love you ... take care ... its only now that i really want to tell u face to face ... how much i love you and how much you meant to me ...

p.s i bought a new laptop ... coming in a few days time ...