Friday, May 04, 2007 5:03 PM

Meaningless..

♥Lately ... Found life rather meaningless... am i withdrawing out from the norm of social integration ?? where emile durkheim theory that ppl commit suicide more easily when they are out of the norm of social integration ?? come on men ... am i at that stage already ??

Recent few postings had been rather emo .. dull ... sad ... i mean thats what i got and felt from the life now ... its no meaning ... i cant find a meaning to everything that i am doing ... i cant find a single damn reason to smile ... Life just aint i want ... and its aint going to the way i wan ... watched the video ... crossroads, the story of a nurse ... if the title is correct ... being a nurse is not easy ... gotta face trouble and problematic patients ... rude and proud ass doctors who tink that having the word doctor of that bloody chee bye cert from MEDICAL SCHOOL ... they win ... thats so unfair ...

Doctor cures , Nurses care ... thats our profession... i came into nursing telling myself to train well and become a professional nurse ... but it seems that the process is making me feeling so tired .. drain out ... i had no pushing force behind me ... God i wish i can drop dead ... i wonder if i can hold out till then ... just too many heart breaking events had happen within a short time frame ... prolly that i cant feel it ... cuz the heart was never there to begin with ...

If i can redirect the movie which is my life ... would i do it into a better one ?? or remain the same ?? there are things in life ... which i hope i can change off if given the chance to relived my life again ... men am i feeling so sad when back then i dun treasure the fun times i got in sec school ?? confused ... muffled ... muddled ... lost ... just out there some where ... maybe wandering in the lalang field ?? just losst ... confused ... muffled ... and muddled out some where in this world that is once so familiar ... but foreign and alien to me now ...




I aint smiling anymore ... the day i stops ... is the day i evilise ... life just so had no meaning to it ... May i Dropped Dead